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The Summoner's Tale

Here biginneth the Somonour his Tale.

Lordinges, ther is in Yorkshire, as I gesse,

A mersshy contree called Holdernesse,

In which ther wente a limitour aboute,

To preche, and eek to begge, it is no doute.

And so bifel, that on a day this frere

Had preched at a chirche in his manere,

And specially, aboven every thing,

Excited he the peple in his preching,

To trentals, and to yeve, for goddes sake,

Wher-with men mighten holy houses make, 

Ther as divyne service is honoured,

Nat ther as it is wasted and devoured, 

Ne ther it nedeth nat for to be yive,

As to possessioners, that mowen live,

Thanked be god, in wele and habundaunce.

‘Trentals,’ seyde he, ‘deliveren fro penaunce

Hir freendes soules, as wel olde as yonge, 

Ye, whan that they been hastily y-songe;

Nat for to holde a preest Ioly and gay,

He singeth nat but o masse in a day;

Delivereth out,’ quod he, ‘anon the soules;

Ful hard it is with fleshhook or with oules

To been y-clawed, or to brenne or bake;

Now spede yow hastily, for Cristes sake.’

And whan this frere had seyd al his entente,

With qui cum patre forth his wey he wente.

  Whan folk in chirche had yeve him what hem leste,    

He wente his wey, no lenger wolde he reste,

With scrippe and tipped staf, y-tukked hye;

In every hous he gan to poure and prye,

And beggeth mele, and chese, or elles corn.

His felawe hadde a staf tipped with horn, 

A peyre of tables al of yvory,

And a poyntel polisshed fetisly,

And wroot the names alwey, as he stood,

Of alle folk that yaf him any good,

Ascaunces that he wolde for hem preye.

‘Yeve us a busshel whete, malt, or reye,

A goddes kechil, or a trip of chese,

Or elles what yow list, we may nat chese;

A goddes halfpeny or a masse-peny,

Or yeve us of your brawn, if ye have eny; 

A dagon of your blanket, leve dame,

Our suster dere, lo! here I write your name;

Bacon or beef, or swich thing as ye finde.’

  A sturdy harlot wente ay hem bihinde,

That was hir hostes man, and bar a sak,

And what men yaf hem, leyde it on his bak.

And whan that he was out at dore anon,

He planed awey the names everichon 

That he biforn had writen in his tables;

He served hem with tryfles and with fables.    

  ‘Nay, ther thou lixt, thou Somnour,’ quod the Frere.

  ‘Pees,’ quod our Host, ‘for Cristes moder dere;

Tel forth thy tale and spare it nat at al.’

So thryve I, quod this Somnour, so I shal.—

  So longe he wente hous by hous, til he 

Cam til an hous ther he was wont to be

Refresshed more than in an hundred placis.

Sik lay the gode man, whos that the place is; 

Bedrede up-on a couche lowe he lay.

Deus hic,’ quod he, ‘O Thomas, freend, good day,’      

Seyde this frere curteisly and softe.

‘Thomas,’ quod he, ‘god yelde yow! ful ofte

Have I up-on this bench faren ful weel.

Here have I eten many a mery meel’;

And fro the bench he droof awey the cat,

And leyde adoun his potente and his hat,

And eek his scrippe, and sette him softe adoun.

His felawe was go walked in-to toun,

Forth with his knave, in-to that hostelrye

Wher-as he shoop him thilke night to lye.

  ‘O dere maister,’ quod this syke man,

‘How han ye fare sith that March bigan?

I saugh yow noght this fourtenight or more.’

‘God woot,’ quod he, ‘laboured have I ful sore;

And specially, for thy savacioun 

Have I seyd many a precious orisoun,

And for our othere frendes, god hem blesse!

I have to-day been at your chirche at messe, 

And seyd a sermon after my simple wit,

Nat al after the text of holy writ; 

For it is hard to yow, as I suppose,

And therfore wol I teche yow al the glose.

Glosinge is a glorious thing, certeyn,

For lettre sleeth, so as we clerkes seyn.

Ther have I taught hem to be charitable,

And spende hir good ther it is resonable,

And ther I saugh our dame; a! wher is she?’

  ‘Yond in the yerd I trowe that she be,’

Seyde this man, ‘and she wol come anon.’

  ‘Ey, maister! wel-come be ye, by seint Iohn!’ 

Seyde this wyf, ‘how fare ye hertely?’

  The frere aryseth up ful curteisly,

And hir embraceth in his armes narwe,

And kiste hir swete, and chirketh as a sparwe

With his lippes: ‘dame,’ quod he, ‘right weel, 

As he that is your servant every deel.

Thanked be god, that yow yaf soule and lyf,

Yet saugh I nat this day so fair a wyf

In al the chirche, god so save me!’

  ‘Ye, god amende defautes, sir,’ quod she, 

‘Algates wel-come be ye, by my fey!’

‘Graunt mercy, dame, this have I founde alwey.

But of your grete goodnesse, by your leve,

I wolde prey yow that ye nat yow greve,

I wol with Thomas speke a litel throwe.

Thise curats been ful necligent and slowe

To grope tendrely a conscience.

In shrift, in preching is my diligence,  

And studie in Petres wordes, and in Poules.

I walke, and fisshe Cristen mennes soules, 

To yelden Iesu Crist his propre rente;

To sprede his word is set al myn entente.’

  ‘Now, by your leve, o dere sir,’ quod she,

‘Chydeth him weel, for seinte Trinitee.

He is as angry as a pissemyre,

Though that he have al that he can desyre.

Though I him wrye a-night and make him warm,

And on hym leye my leg outher myn arm,    

He groneth lyk our boor, lyth in our sty.

Other desport right noon of him have I; 

I may nat plese him in no maner cas.’

  ‘O Thomas! Ie vous dy, Thomas! Thomas!

This maketh the feend, this moste ben amended.

Ire is a thing that hye god defended,

And ther-of wol I speke a word or two.’ 

  ‘Now maister,’ quod the wyf, ‘er that I go,

What wol ye dyne? I wol go ther-aboute.’

  ‘Now dame,’ quod he, ‘Ie vous dy sanz doute,      

Have I nat of a capon but the livere,

And of your softe breed nat but a shivere, 

And after that a rosted pigges heed,

(But that I nolde no beest for me were deed),

Thanne hadde I with yow hoomly suffisaunce.

I am a man of litel sustenaunce.

My spirit hath his fostring in the Bible. 

The body is ay so redy and penyble

To wake, that my stomak is destroyed.

I prey yow, dame, ye be nat anoyed, 

Though I so freendly yow my conseil shewe;

By god, I wolde nat telle it but a fewe.’

  ‘Now, sir,’ quod she, ‘but o word er I go;

My child is deed with-inne thise wykes two,

Sone after that ye wente out of this toun.’

  ‘His deeth saugh I by revelacioun,’

Seith this frere, ‘at hoom in our dortour.

I dar wel seyn that, er that half an hour

After his deeth, I saugh him born to blisse

In myn avisioun, so god me wisse! 

So dide our sexteyn and our fermerer,

That han been trewe freres fifty yeer; 

They may now, god be thanked of his lone,

Maken hir Iubilee and walke allone.

And up I roos, and al our covent eke,

With many a tere trikling on my cheke,

Withouten noyse or clateringe of belles;

Te deum was our song and no-thing elles,

Save that to Crist I seyde an orisoun,

Thankinge him of his revelacioun. 

For sir and dame, trusteth me right weel,

Our orisons been more effectueel, 

And more we seen of Cristes secree thinges

Than burel folk, al-though they weren kinges.

We live in povert and in abstinence,

And burel folk in richesse and despence

Of mete and drinke, and in hir foul delyt. 

We han this worldes lust al in despyt.

Lazar and Dives liveden diversly,

And diverse guerdon hadden they ther-by. 

Who-so wol preye, he moot faste and be clene,

And fatte his soule and make his body lene.    

We fare as seith thapostle; cloth and fode

Suffysen us, though they be nat ful gode.

The clennesse and the fastinge of us freres

Maketh that Crist accepteth our preyeres.

  Lo, Moyses fourty dayes and fourty night    

Fasted, er that the heighe god of might

Spak with him in the mountain of Sinay.

With empty wombe, fastinge many a day, 

Receyved he the lawe that was writen

With goddes finger; and Elie, wel ye witen,    

In mount Oreb, er he hadde any speche

With hye god, that is our lyves leche,

He fasted longe and was in contemplaunce.

  Aaron, that hadde the temple in governaunce,

And eek the othere preestes everichon,

In-to the temple whan they sholde gon

To preye for the peple, and do servyse,

They nolden drinken, in no maner wyse, 

No drinke, which that mighte hem dronke make,

But there in abstinence preye and wake,

Lest that they deyden; tak heed what I seye.

But they be sobre that for the peple preye,

War that I seye,—namore! for it suffyseth.

Our lord Iesu, as holy writ devyseth,

Yaf us ensample of fastinge and preyeres. 

Therfor we mendinants, we sely freres,

Been wedded to poverte and continence,

To charitee, humblesse, and abstinence,

To persecucion for rightwisnesse,

To wepinge, misericorde, and clennesse.    

And therfor may ye see that our preyeres—

I speke of us, we mendinants, we freres—

Ben to the hye god more acceptable

Than youres, with your festes at the table.

Fro Paradys first, if I shal nat lye, 

Was man out chaced for his glotonye;

And chaast was man in Paradys, certeyn.

  But herkne now, Thomas, what I shal seyn.    

I ne have no text of it, as I suppose,

But I shall finde it in a maner glose, 

That specially our swete lord Iesus

Spak this by freres, whan he seyde thus:

“Blessed be they that povre in spirit been.”

And so forth al the gospel may ye seen,

Wher it be lyker our professioun, 

Or hirs that swimmen in possessioun.

Fy on hir pompe and on hir glotonye!

And for hir lewednesse I hem diffye.

  Me thinketh they ben lyk Iovinian,

Fat as a whale, and walkinge as a swan; 

Al vinolent as botel in the spence.

Hir preyer is of ful gret reverence;

Whan they for soules seye the psalm of Davit,

Lo, “buf!” they seye, “cor meum eructavit!”

Who folweth Cristes gospel and his fore,

But we that humble been and chast and pore,

Werkers of goddes word, not auditours?

Therfore, right as an hauk up, at a sours, 

Up springeth in-to their, right so prayeres

Of charitable and chaste bisy freres 

Maken hir sours to goddes eres two.

Thomas! Thomas! so mote I ryde or go,

And by that lord that clepid is seint Yve,

Nere thou our brother, sholdestou nat thryve!

In our chapitre praye we day and night 

To Crist, that he thee sende hele and might,

Thy body for to welden hastily.’

  ‘God woot,’ quod he, ‘no-thing ther-of fele I;   

As help me Crist, as I, in fewe yeres,

Han spended, up-on dyvers maner freres, 

Ful many a pound; yet fare I never the bet.

Certeyn, my good have I almost biset.

Farwel, my gold! for it is al ago!’

  The frere answerde, ‘O Thomas, dostow so?

What nedeth yow diverse freres seche? 

What nedeth him that hath a parfit leche

To sechen othere leches in the toun?

Your inconstance is your confusioun.

Holde ye than me, or elles our covent,

To praye for yow ben insufficient?

Thomas, that Iape nis nat worth a myte;

Your maladye is for we han to lyte.

“A! yif that covent half a quarter otes!”

“A! yif that covent four and twenty grotes!”

“A! yif that frere a peny, and lat him go!”    

Nay, nay, Thomas! it may no-thing be so.

What is a ferthing worth parted in twelve?

Lo, ech thing that is oned in him-selve 

Is more strong than whan it is to-scatered.

Thomas, of me thou shalt nat been y-flatered; 

Thou woldest han our labour al for noght.

The hye god, that al this world hath wroght,

Seith that the werkman worthy is his hyre.

Thomas! noght of your tresor I desyre

As for my-self, but that al our covent 

To preye for yow is ay so diligent,

And for to builden Cristes owene chirche.

Thomas! if ye wol lernen for to wirche,

Of buildinge up of chirches may ye finde

If it be good, in Thomas lyf of Inde.

Ye lye heer, ful of anger and of yre,

With which the devel set your herte a-fyre,

And chyden heer this sely innocent,

Your wyf, that is so meke and pacient.

And therfor, Thomas, trowe me if thee leste, 

Ne stryve nat with thy wyf, as for thy beste;

And ber this word awey now, by thy feith,

Touchinge this thing, lo, what the wyse seith: 

“With-in thyn hous ne be thou no leoun;

To thy subgits do noon oppressioun; 

Ne make thyne aqueyntances nat to flee.”

And Thomas, yet eft-sones I charge thee,

Be war from hir that in thy bosom slepeth;

War fro the serpent that so slyly crepeth

Under the gras, and stingeth subtilly.

Be war, my sone, and herkne paciently,

That twenty thousand men han lost hir lyves,

For stryving with hir lemmans and hir wyves.    

Now sith ye han so holy and meke a wyf,

What nedeth yow, Thomas, to maken stryf? 

Ther nis, y-wis, no serpent so cruel,

Whan man tret on his tayl, ne half so fel,

As womman is, whan she hath caught an ire;

Vengeance is thanne al that they desyre.

Ire is a sinne, oon of the grete of sevene,

Abhominable un-to the god of hevene;

And to him-self it is destruccion.

This every lewed viker or person 

Can seye, how Ire engendreth homicyde.

Ire is, in sooth, executour of pryde.

I coude of Ire seye so muche sorwe,

My tale sholde laste til to-morwe.

And therfor preye I god bothe day and night,

An irous man, god sende him litel might!

It is greet harm and, certes, gret pitee,

To sette an irous man in heigh degree.

  Whilom ther was an irous potestat,

As seith Senek, that, duringe his estaat,

Up-on a day out riden knightes two,

And as fortune wolde that it were so,

That oon of hem cam hoom, that other noght.

Anon the knight bifore the Iuge is broght,

That seyde thus, ‘thou hast thy felawe slayn,

For which I deme thee to the deeth, certayn.’

And to another knight comanded he,

‘Go lede him to the deeth, I charge thee.’

And happed, as they wente by the weye

Toward the place ther he sholde deye,

The knight cam, which men wenden had be deed.

Thanne thoughte they, it was the beste reed,    

To lede hem bothe to the Iuge agayn.

They seiden, ‘lord, the knight ne hath nat slayn

His felawe; here he standeth hool alyve.’

‘Ye shul be deed,’ quod he, ‘so moot I thryve!

That is to seyn, bothe oon, and two, and three!’    

And to the firste knight right thus spak he,

‘I dampned thee, thou most algate be deed.

And thou also most nedes lese thyn heed,

For thou art cause why thy felawe deyth.’

And to the thridde knight right thus he seyth, 

‘Thou hast nat doon that I comanded thee.’

And thus he dide don sleen hem alle three.

  Irous Cambyses was eek dronkelewe,

And ay delyted him to been a shrewe.

And so bifel, a lord of his meynee, 

That lovede vertuous moralitee,

Seyde on a day bitwix hem two right thus:

‘A lord is lost, if he be vicious; 

And dronkenesse is eek a foul record

Of any man, and namely in a lord.

Ther is ful many an eye and many an ere

Awaiting on a lord, and he noot where.

For goddes love, drink more attemprely;

Wyn maketh man to lesen wrecchedly

His minde, and eek his limes everichon.’

  ‘The revers shaltou se,’ quod he, ‘anon;

And preve it, by thyn owene experience,

That wyn ne dooth to folk no swich offence. 

Ther is no wyn bireveth me my might

Of hand ne foot, ne of myn eyen sight’— 

And, for despyt, he drank ful muchel more

An hondred part than he had doon bifore;

And right anon, this irous cursed wrecche

Leet this knightes sone bifore him fecche,

Comandinge him he sholde bifore him stonde.    

And sodeynly he took his bowe in honde,

And up the streng he pulled to his ere,

And with an arwe he slow the child right there:    

‘Now whether have I a siker hand or noon?’

Quod he, ‘is al my might and minde agoon?    

Hath wyn bireved me myn eyen sight?’

  What sholde I telle thanswere of the knight?

His sone was slayn, ther is na-more to seye.

Beth war therfor with lordes how ye pleye.

Singeth Placebo, and I shal, if I can,

But if it be un-to a povre man.

To a povre man men sholde hise vyces telle,

But nat to a lord, thogh he sholde go to helle. 

  Lo irous Cirus, thilke Percien,

How he destroyed the river of Gysen,

For that an hors of his was dreynt ther-inne,

Whan that he wente Babiloigne to winne.

He made that the river was so smal,

That wommen mighte wade it over al.

Lo, what seyde he, that so wel teche can? 

“Ne be no felawe to an irous man,

Ne with no wood man walke by the weye,

Lest thee repente;” ther is na-more to seye.    

  Now Thomas, leve brother, lef thyn ire;

Thou shall me finde as Iust as is a squire.

Hold nat the develes knyf ay at thyn herte;

Thyn angre dooth thee al to sore smerte;

But shewe to me al thy confessioun.’

  ‘Nay,’ quod the syke man, ‘by Seint Simoun!

I have be shriven this day at my curat; 

I have him told al hoolly myn estat;

Nedeth na-more to speke of it,’ seith he,

‘But if me list of myn humilitee.’

  ‘Yif me thanne of thy gold, to make our cloistre,’

Quod he, ‘for many a muscle and many an oistre,       

Whan other men han ben ful wel at eyse,

Hath been our fode, our cloistre for to reyse.

And yet, god woot, unnethe the fundement

Parfourned is, ne of our pavement

Nis nat a tyle yet with-inne our wones;

By god, we owen fourty pound for stones!

Now help, Thomas, for him that harwed helle!

For elles moste we our bokes selle. 

And if ye lakke our predicacioun,

Than gooth the world al to destruccioun.

For who-so wolde us fro this world bireve,

So god me save, Thomas, by your leve,

He wolde bireve out of this world the sonne.

For who can teche and werchen as we conne?

And that is nat of litel tyme,’ quod he;

‘But sith that Elie was, or Elisee,

Han freres been, that finde I of record,

In charitee, y-thanked be our lord.

Now Thomas, help, for seinte charitee!’

And doun anon he sette him on his knee. 

  This syke man wex wel ny wood for ire;

He wolde that the frere had been on-fire

With his false dissimulacioun.

‘Swich thing as is in my possessioun,’

Quod he, ‘that may I yeven, and non other. 

Ye sey me thus, how that I am your brother?’

  ‘Ye, certes,’ quod the frere, ‘trusteth weel;

I took our dame our lettre with our seel.’

  ‘Now wel,’ quod he, ‘and som-what shal I yive

Un-to your holy covent whyl I live,

And in thyn hand thou shalt it have anoon;

On this condicioun, and other noon,

That thou departe it so, my dere brother,

That every frere have also muche as other.

This shaltou swere on thy professioun, 

With-outen fraude or cavillacioun.’

  ‘I swere it,’ quod this frere, ‘upon my feith!’

And ther-with-al his hand in his he leith: 

‘Lo, heer my feith! in me shal be no lak.’

  ‘Now thanne, put thyn hand doun by my bak,’    

Seyde this man, ‘and grope wel bihinde;

Bynethe my buttok ther shaltow finde

A thing that I have hid in privetee.’

  ‘A!’ thoghte this frere, ‘this shal go with me!’

And doun his hand he launcheth to the clifte, 

In hope for to finde ther a yifte.

And whan this syke man felte this frere

Aboute his tuwel grope there and here, 

Amidde his hand he leet the frere a fart.

Ther nis no capul, drawinge in a cart,    

That mighte have lete a fart of swich a soun.

  ‘The frere up stirte as doth a wood leoun:

‘A! false cherl,’ quod he, ‘for goddes bones,

This hastow for despyt doon, for the nones!

Thou shalt abye this fart, if that I may!’

  His meynee, whiche that herden this affray,

Cam lepinge in, and chaced out the frere;

And forth he gooth, with a ful angry chere, 

And fette his felawe, ther-as lay his stoor.

He looked as it were a wilde boor; 

He grinte with his teeth, so was he wrooth.

A sturdy pas doun to the court he gooth,

Wher-as ther woned a man of greet honour,

To whom that he was alwey confessour;

This worthy man was lord of that village. 

This frere cam, as he were in a rage,

Wher-as this lord sat eting at his bord.

Unnethes mighte the frere speke a word,

Til atte laste he seyde: ‘god yow see!’

  This lord gan loke, and seide, ‘benedicite!

What, frere Iohn, what maner world is this?

I see wel that som thing ther is amis.

Ye loken as the wode were ful of thevis,

Sit doun anon, and tel me what your greef is,

And it shal been amended, if I may.’

  ‘I have,’ quod he, ‘had a despyt this day,

God yelde yow! adoun in your village,

That in this world is noon so povre a page, 

That he nolde have abhominacioun

Of that I have receyved in your toun.

And yet ne greveth me no-thing so sore,

As that this olde cherl, with lokkes hore,

Blasphemed hath our holy covent eke.’

  ‘Now, maister,’ quod this lord, ‘I yow biseke.’

  ‘No maister, sire,’ quod he, ‘but servitour, 

Thogh I have had in scole swich honour.

God lyketh nat that “Raby” men us calle,

Neither in market ne in your large halle.’

  ‘No fors,’ quod he, ‘but tel me al your grief.’

  ‘Sire,’ quod this frere, ‘an odious meschief    

This day bitid is to myn ordre and me,

And so per consequens to ech degree

Of holy chirche, god amende it sone!’

  ‘Sir,’ quod the lord, ‘ye woot what is to done.

Distempre yow noght, ye be my confessour;    

Ye been the salt of the erthe and the savour.

For goddes love your pacience ye holde;

Tel me your grief:’ and he anon him tolde,    

As ye han herd biforn, ye woot wel what.

  The lady of the hous ay stille sat, 

Til she had herd al what the frere sayde:

‘Ey, goddes moder,’ quod she, ‘blisful mayde!

Is ther oght elles? telle me faithfully.’

  ‘Madame,’ quod he, ‘how thinketh yow her-by?’

  ‘How that me thinketh?’ quod she; ‘so god me speede,

I seye, a cherl hath doon a cherles dede.

What shold I seye? god lat him never thee!

His syke heed is ful of vanitee, 

I hold him in a maner frenesye.’

  ‘Madame,’ quod he, ‘by god I shal nat lye;    

But I on other weyes may be wreke,

I shal diffame him over-al ther I speke,

This false blasphemour, that charged me

To parte that wol nat departed be,

To every man y-liche, with meschaunce!’

  The lord sat stille as he were in a traunce,

And in his herte he rolled up and doun,

‘How hadde this cherl imaginacioun 

To shewe swich a probleme to the frere?

Never erst er now herde I of swich matere;    

I trowe the devel putte it in his minde.

In ars-metryke shal ther no man finde,

Biforn this day, of swich a questioun.

Who sholde make a demonstracioun,

That every man sholde have y-liche his part    

As of the soun or savour of a fart?

O nyce proude cherl, I shrewe his face!

Lo, sires,’ quod the lord, with harde grace,    

‘Who ever herde of swich a thing er now?

To every man y-lyke? tel me how?

It is an inpossible, it may nat be!

Ey, nyce cherl, god lete him never thee!

The rumblinge of a fart, and every soun,

Nis but of eir reverberacioun,

And ever it wasteth lyte and lyte awey.

Ther is no man can demen, by my fey,

If that it were departed equally.

What, lo, my cherl, lo, yet how shrewedly    

Un-to my confessour to-day he spak!

I holde him certeyn a demoniak! 

Now ete your mete, and lat the cherl go pleye,

Lat him go honge himself, a devel weye!’

  Now stood the lordes squyer at the bord,

That carf his mete, and herde, word by word,

Of alle thinges of which I have yow sayd. 

‘My lord,’ quod he, ‘be ye nat yvel apayd;

I coude telle, for a goune-clooth,

To yow, sir frere, so ye be nat wrooth, 

How that this fart sholde even deled be

Among your covent, if it lyked me.’

  ‘Tel,’ quod the lord, ‘and thou shall have anon

A goune-cloth, by god and by Seint Iohn!’

  ‘My lord,’ quod he, ‘whan that the weder is fair,

With-outen wind or perturbinge of air,

Lat bringe a cartwheel here in-to this halle, 

But loke that it have his spokes alle.

Twelf spokes hath a cartwheel comunly.

And bring me than twelf freres, woot ye why?    

For thrittene is a covent, as I gesse.

The confessour heer, for his worthinesse, 

Shal parfourne up the nombre of his covent.

Than shal they knele doun, by oon assent,

And to every spokes ende, in this manere,

Ful sadly leye his nose shal a frere.

Your noble confessour, ther god him save, 

Shal holde his nose upright, under the nave.

Than shal this cherl, with bely stif and toght

As any tabour, hider been y-broght; 

And sette him on the wheel right of this cart,

Upon the nave, and make him lete a fart. 

And ye shul seen, up peril of my lyf,

By preve which that is demonstratif,

That equally the soun of it wol wende,

And eek the stink, un-to the spokes ende;

Save that this worthy man, your confessour,    

By-cause he is a man of greet honour,

Shal have the firste fruit, as reson is;

The noble usage of freres yet is this,   

The worthy men of hem shul first be served;

And certeinly, he hath it weel deserved.

He hath to-day taught us so muchel good

With preching in the pulpit ther he stood,

That I may vouche-sauf, I sey for me,

He hadde the firste smel of fartes three,

And so wolde al his covent hardily;

He bereth him so faire and holily.’

  The lord, the lady, and ech man, save the frere,

Seyde that Iankin spak, in this matere,

As wel as Euclide or [as] Ptholomee.

Touchinge this cherl, they seyde, subtiltee 

And heigh wit made him speken as he spak;

He nis no fool, ne no demoniak.

And Iankin hath y-wonne a newe goune.—

My tale is doon; we been almost at toune.

Here endeth the Somnours Tale.

Here beginneth the Summoner his Tale.

  Lordings, there is in Yorkshire, as I guess,

A marshy country called Holderness,

In which there went a limiter about,

To preach, and eke to beg, it is no doubt.

And so befell that on a day this friar

Had preached at a church in his manner,

And specially, aboven every thing,

Excited he the people in his preaching,

To trentals, and to give, for god’s sake,

Wherewith men might holy houses make,

There as divine service is honoured,

Not there as it is wasted and devoured,

Ne there it needeth not for to be give,

As to possessioners, that able live,   

Thanked be god, in weal and abundance.

Trentals,” said he, “deliveren from penance

Their friends’ souls, as well old as young,

Yea, when that they be hastily y-sung;

Not for to hold a priest jolly and gay,

He singeth not but one mass in a day;

Delivereth out,” quoth he, “anon the souls;

Full hard it is with flesh-hook or with awls

To be y-clawed, or to burn or bake;

Now speed you hastily, for Christ’s sake!”

And when this friar had said all his intent,

With qui cum patre forth his way he went. 

  When folk in church had give him what him lest,

He went his way, no longer would he rest,

With scrip and tipped staff, y-tucked high,

In every house he ’gan to pore and pry,

And beggeth meal, and cheese, or else corn.

His fellow had a staff tipped with horn,  

A pair of tables all of ivory,

And a pointel polished featously,

And wrote the names alway, as he stood,

Of all folk that gave him any good,

Ascaunces that he would for ’em pray. 

“Give us a bushel wheat, malt, or rye,

A god’s kechil, or a tripe of cheese,  

Or else what you list, we may not choose;

A god’s half-penny or a mass penny,

Or give us of your brawn, if ye have any;

dagon of your blanket, lief dame, 

Our sister dear, lo! here I write your name;

Bacon or beef, or such thing as ye find.”

  A sturdy harlot went aye ’em behind,

That was their host’s man, and bear a sack,

And what men gave ’em, laid it on his back.

And when that he was out at door anon,

He plained away the names everich one

That he beforn had written in his tables;

He served ’em with trifles and with fables.

  “Nay, there thou liest, thou Summoner!” quoth the Friar. 

  “Peace,” quoth our Host, “for Christ’s mother dear;

Tell forth thy tale, and spare it not at all.”

So thrive I, quoth this Summoner, so I shall.—

  So long he went, house by house, till he

Came to a house there he was wont to be

Refreshed more than in a hundred places.

Sick lay the good man, whose that the place is;

Bedrid upon a couch low he lay.

Deus hic,” quoth he, “O Thomas, friend, good day!” 

Said this friar courteously and soft.

“Thomas,” quoth he, “god yield you! full oft

Have I upon this bench faren full well.

Here have I eaten many a merry meal.”

And from the bench he drove away the cat,

And laid a-down his potent and his hat, 

And eke his scrip, and set him soft a-down.

His fellow was go walked into town,

Forth with his knave, into that hostelry

Where as he shape him thilk night to lie.

  “O dear master,” quoth this sick man,

“How have ye fare sith that March began?

saw you not this fortnight or more.”

“God wot,” quoth he, “laboured have I full sore;

And specially, for thy salvation

Have I said many a precious orison,

And for our other friends, god ’em bless!

I have today been at your church at mass,

And said a sermon after my simple wit,

Not all after the text of holy writ;

For it is hard to you, as I suppose,

And therefore will I teach you all the gloze.

Glossing is a glorious thing, certain,

For letter slayeth, so as we clerks sayn.

There have I taught ’em to be charitable,

And spend their good there it is reasonable,

And there I saw our dame; a! where is she?”

  “Yond in the yard I trow that she be,”

Said this man, “and she will come anon.”

  “Ey, Master, welcome be ye, by saint John!”

Said this wife, “how fare ye heartily?”

  The friar ariseth up full courteously,

And her embraceth in his arms narrow,

And kissed her sweet, and chirpeth as a sparrow

With his lips: “dame,” quoth he, “right well,

As he that is your servant every deal,

Thanked be god, that you gave soul and life,

Yet saw I not this day so fair a wife

In all the church, god so save me!”

  “Yea, god amend defaults, sir,” quoth she,   

Algates welcome be ye, by my fay!”   

  “Grant mercy, dame, this have I found alway.

But of your great goodness, by your leave,

I would pray you that ye not you grieve,

I will with Thomas speak a little throw.

These curates be full negligent and slow

To grope tenderly a conscience.

In shrift, in preaching is my diligence,

And study in Peter’s words, and in Paul’s.

I walk, and fish Christian men’s souls,

To yielden Jesus Christ his proper rent;

To spread his word is set all mine intent.”

  “Now, by your leave, o dear sir,” quoth she,

“Chideth him well, for saint Trinity.

He is as angry as a pismire,

Though that he have all that he can desire.

Though I him wry a-night and make him warm,

And over him lay my leg either mine arm,

He groaneth like our boar, lieth in our sty.

Other disport right none of him have I;

I may not please him in no manner case.”

  “O Thomas, je vous di, Thomas! Thomas!  

This maketh the fiend, this must be amended.

Ire is a thing that high god defended,

And thereof will I speak a word or two.”

  “Now, master,” quoth the wife, “ere that I go,

What will ye dine? I will go thereabout.”

  “Now, dame,” quoth he, “je vous di sans doute,

Have I not of a capon but the liver,

And of your soft bread not but a sliver,

And after that a roasted pig’s head,

(But that I nould no beast for me were dead),

Then had I with you homely sufficience.

I am a man of little sustenance.

My spirit hath his fostering in the Bible.

The body is aye so ready and penible

To wake, that my stomach is destroyed.

I pray you, dame, ye be not annoyed,

Though I so friendly you my counsel show;

By god! I would not tell it but a few.”

  “Now, sir,” quoth she, “ but one word ere I go;

My child is dead within these weeks two,

Soon after that ye went out of this town.”

  “His death saw I by revelation,”

Saith this friar, “at home in our dorter.   

I dare well sayn that, ere that half an hour

After his death, I saw him born to bliss

In mine a-vision, so god me wis!

So did our sexton and our fermerer,

That have been true friars fifty year;

They may now, god be thanked of his lone,

Maken their jubilee and walk alone.

And up I rose, and all our convent eke,

With many a tear trickling on my cheek,

Withouten noise or clattering of bells;

Te deum was our song, and nothing else,  

Save that to Christ I said an orison,

Thanking him of his revelation.

For sir and dame, trusteth me right well,

Our orisons be more effectual,

And more we see of Christ’s secree things,

Than borrel folk, although they weren kings.   

We live in povert’ and in abstinence,

And borrel folk in richesse and dispense

Of meat and drink, and in their foul delight.

We have this world’s lust all in despite.

Lazar and Dives liveden diversely,

And diverse guerdon hadden they thereby.

Whoso will pray, he mote fast and be clean,

And fat his soul and make his body lean.

We fare as saith th’apostle; cloth and food

Sufficen us, though they be not full good.   

The cleanness and the fasting of us friars

Maketh that Christ accepteth our prayers.

  Lo, Moses forty days and forty night

Fasted, ere that the high god of might

Spake with him in the mountain of Sinai.

With empty womb, fasting many a day,

Received he the law that was written

With god’s finger, and Eli, well ye witten,  

In mount Horeb, ere he had any speech

With high god, that is our lives’ leech,

He fasted long and was in contemplance.

  Aaron, that had the temple in governance,

And eke the other priests everich one,

Into the temple when they should gon

To pray for the people, and do service,

They noulden drinken, in no manner wise,

No drink, which that might ’em drunk make,

But there in abstinence pray and wake,

Lest that they dieden; take heed what I say.

But they be sober that for the people pray,

Ware that I say, – no more! for it sufficeth.

  Our lord Jesus, as holy writ deviseth,

Gave us example of fasting and prayers.

Therefore we mendicants, we seely friars,  

Been wedded to povert’ and continence,

To charity, humbleness, and abstinence,

To persecution for righteousness,

To weeping, misericord, and cleanness.   

And therefore may ye see that our prayers—

I speak of us, we mendicants, we friars—

Be to the high god more acceptable

Than yours, with your feasts at the table.

From Paradise first, if I shall not lie,

Was man out chased for his gluttony;

And chaste was man in Paradise, certain.

  But harken now, Thomas, what I shall sayn.

I ne have no text of it, as I suppose,

But I shall find it in a manner gloze,

That specially our sweet lord Jesus

Spake this by friars, when he said thus:

‘Blessed be they that povre in spirit been.’

And so forth all the gospel may ye seen,

Whe’er it be liker our profession,

Or theirs that swimmen in possession.

Fie on their pomp and on their gluttony!

And for their lewdness I ’em defy.

  Methinketh they be like Jovinian,

Fat as a whale, and walking as a swan;

All vinolent as bottle in the spence.

Their prayer is of full great reverence;

When they for souls say the psalm of David,

Lo, ‘buf!’ they say, ‘cor meum eructavit!’

Who followeth Christ’s gospel and his fore,

But we that humble be and chaste and poor,

Workers of god’s word, not auditors?

Therefore, right as a hawk up, at a soars,

Up springeth into th’air, right so prayers

Of charitable and chaste busy friars

Maken their soars to god’s ears two.

Thomas! Thomas! So mote I ride or go,

And by that lord that cleped is Saint Ive,

Nere thou our brother, shouldest thou not thrive!

In our chapter pray we day and night

To Christ, that he thee send health and might

Thy body for to wielden hastily.”

  “God wot,” quoth he, “no thing thereof feel I;

As help me Christ, as I, in few years,

Have spended, upon diverse manner friars,

Full many a pound; yet fare I never the bet.

Certain, my good have I almost beset.

Farewell, my gold! for it is all a-go!”

  The friar answered, “O Thomas, dost thou so?

What needeth you diverse friars seek?

What needeth him that hath a perfect leech

To seeken other leeches in the town?

Your inconstance is your confusion.

Hold ye then me, or else our convent,

To pray for you be insufficient?

Thomas, that jape nis not worth a mite;

Your malady is for we have too lite.

‘A! give that convent half a quarter oats!’

‘A! give that convent four and twenty groats!’

‘A! give that friar a penny, and let him go!’

Nay, nay, Thomas! it may nothing be so.

What is a farthing worth parted in twelve?

Lo, each thing that is owned in himself

Is more strong than when it is to-scattered.

Thomas, of me thou shalt not be y-flattered;

Thou wouldest have our labour all for naught.

The high god, that all this world hath wrought,

Saith that the workman worthy is his hire.

Thomas! not of your treasure I desire

As for myself, but that all our convent

To pray for you is aye so diligent,

And for to build Christ’s own church.

Thomas! if ye will learnen for to wirche,

Of building up of churches may ye find

If it be good, in Thomas life of Inde.

Ye lie here, full of anger and of ire,

With which the devil set your heart a-fire,

And chiden here this seely innocent,

Your wife, that is so meek and patient.

And therefore, Thomas, trow me if thee lest,

Ne strive not with thy wife, as for thy best;

And bear this word away now, by thy faith,

Touching such thing, lo, what the wise saith:

‘Within thine house ne be thou no lion;

To thy subjects do no oppression;

Ne make thine acquaintances not to flee.’

And Thomas, yet eftsoons I charge thee,

Beware from ire that in thy bosom sleepeth;

Ware from the serpent that so slyly creepeth

Under the grass, and stingeth subtly.

Beware, my son, and harken patiently,

That twenty thousand men have lost their lives,

For striving with their lemans and their wives.

Now sith ye have so holy and meek a wife,

What needeth you, Thomas, to maken strife?

There nis, y-wis, no serpent so cruel,

When man tread on his tail, ne half so fell,

As woman is, when she hath caught an ire;

Vengeance is then all that they desire.

Ire is a sin, one of the great of seven,

Abominable unto the god of heaven;

And to himself it is destruction.

This every lewd vicar or parson

Can say, how ire engendereth homicide.

Ire is, in sooth, executor of pride.

I could of ire say so much sorrow,

My tale should last till tomorrow.

And therefore pray I god both day and night,

An irous man, god send him little might!

It is great harm and, certes, great pity,

To set an irous man in high degree.

  Whilom there was an irous potentate,

As saith Seneca, that, during his estate,

Upon a day out riden knights two,

And as fortune would that it were so,

That one of ’em came home, that other naught.

Anon the knight before the judge is brought,

That said thus, ‘Thou hast thy fellow slain,

For which I deem thee to the death, certain.’

And to another knight commanded he,

‘Go lead him to the death, I charge thee.’

And happed, as they went by the way

Toward the place there he should die,

The knight came, which men wenden had been dead.

Then thought they it were the best rede,

To lead ’em both to the judge again.

They saiden, ‘lord, the knight ne hath not slain

His fellow; here he standeth whole alive.’

‘Ye shall be dead,’ quoth he, ‘so mote I thrive!

That is to sayn, both one, and two, and three!’

And to the first knight right thus spake he,

‘I damned thee; thou must algate be dead.   

And thou also must needs lose thine head,

For thou art cause why thy fellow dieth.’

And to the third knight right thus he saith,

‘Thou hast not done that I commanded thee.’

And thus he did done slain ’em all three.

  Irous Cambyses was eke drunkelewe,

And aye delighted him to be a shrew.

And so befell, a lord of his meinie,

That loved virtuous morality,

Said on a day betwixt ’em two right thus:

‘A lord is lost, if he be vicious;

And drunkenness is eke a foul record  

Of any man, and namely in a lord.

There is full many an eye and many an ear

Awaiting on a lord, and he not where.

For god’s love, drink more a-temperately;

Wine maketh man to losen wretchedly 

His mind and eke his limbs every one.’

  The reverse shalt thou see,’ quoth he, ‘anon;

And prove it, by thine own experience,

That wine ne doeth to folk no such offence.

There is no wine bereaveth me my might 

Of hand ne foot, ne of mine eyen sight.’ –

And, for despite, he drank full much more,

An hundred part, than he had done before;

And right anon, this irous cursed wretch

Let this knight’s son before him fetch,

Commanding him he should before him stand.

And suddenly he took his bow in hand,

And up the string he pulled to his ear,

And with an arrow he slew the child right there:

‘Now whether have I a certain hand or none?’

Quoth he; ‘is all my might and mind a-gone?’

Hath wine bereaved me mine eyen sight?’  

  What should I tell th’answer of the knight?

His son was slain, there is no more to say.

Beeth ware therefore with lords how ye play.

Singeth Placebo and I shall, if I can,

But if it be unto a povre man.

To a povre man men should his vices tell,

But not to a lord, though he should go to hell.

  Lo irous Cyrus, thilk Persian,

How he destroyed the river of Gysen,

For that an horse of his was drowned therein,

When that he went Babylon to win.

He made that the river was so small

That women might wade it over all.

Lo, what said he, that so well teach can?

‘Ne be no fellow to an irous man,

Ne with no wood man walk by the way,

Lest thee repent;’ there is no more to say.

  Now Thomas, lief brother, leave thine ire;

Thou shalt me find as just as is a squire.

Hold not the devil’s knife aye at thine heart;

Thine anger doeth thee all too sore smart;

But show to me all thy confession.”

  “Nay,” quoth the sick man, “by Saint Simon!

I have be shriven this day at my curate;

I have him told all wholly mine estate;

Needeth no more to speak of it,” saith he,

“But if me list of mine humility.”

  “Give me then of thy gold, to make our cloister,”

Quoth he, “for many a mussel and many an oyster,

When other men have been full well at ease,

Hath been our food, our cloister for to raise.

And yet, god wotunneth the fundament

Performed is, ne of our pavement

Nis not a tile yet within our wones.   

By god, we owen forty pounds for stones!

Now help, Thomas, for him that harrowed hell!

For else must we our books sell.

And if you lack our predication,

Then goeth the world all to destruction.

For whoso would us from this world bereave,

So god me save, Thomas, by your leave,

He would bereave out of this world the sun.

For who can teach and wirchen as we can?  

And that is not of little time,” quoth he;

But since Eli was, or Elise,

Have friars been, that find I of record,

In charity, y-thanked be our lord.

Now Thomas, help, for saint charity!”

And down anon he set him on his knee.

  This sick man wax well nigh wood for ire; 

He would that the friar had been on fire

With his false dissimulation.

“Such thing as is in my possession,”

Quoth he, “that may I give, and none other.

Ye say me thus, how that I am your brother?”

  “Yea, certes,” quoth the friar, “trusteth well;

I took our dame our letter with our seal.”

  “Now well,” quoth he, “and somewhat shall I give

Unto your holy convent while I live,

And in thine hand thou shalt it have anon;

On this condition, and other none,

That thou depart it so, my dear brother,

That every friar have also much as other.

This shalt thou swear on thy profession,

Withouten fraud or cavillation.” 

  “I swear it,” quoth this friar, “upon my faith!”

And therewithal his hand in his he layeth:

“Lo, here my faith! in me shall be no lack.”

  “Now then, put thine hand down my back,”

Said this man, “and grope well behind;

Beneath my buttock there shalt thou find

A thing that I have hid in privity.”

  “A!” thought this friar, “this shall go with me!”

And down his hand he launcheth to the cleft,

In hope for to find there a gift.

And when this sick man felt this friar

About his tewel grope there and here, 

Amid his hand he let the friar a fart.

There nis no capul, drawing in a cart,

That might have let a fart of such a soun’.

  The friar up start as doth a wood lion:  

“A! false churl,” quoth he, “for god’s bones,

This hast thou for despite done, for the nones!  

Thou shalt a-buy this fart, if that I may!”  

  His meinie, which that hearden this affray, 

Came leaping in, and chased out the friar;

And forth he goeth, with a full angry cheer,

And fet’ his fellow, there as lay his store.

He looked as it were a wild boar;

He ground with his teeth, so was he wroth.

A sturdy pace down to the court he goeth,

Where as there woned a man of great honour,   

To whom that he was alway confessor;

This worthy man was lord of that village.

This friar came, as he were in a rage,

Where as this lord sat eating at his board;

Unneths might the friar speak a word,  

Till at last he said, “god you see!”

  This lord ’gan look, and said, “benedicite!

What, friar John, what manner world is this?

I see well that some thing there is amiss.

You looken as the wood were full of thieves,

Sit down anon, and tell me what your grief is,

And it shall be amended, if I may.”

  “I have,” quoth he, “had a despite this day,  

God yield you! a-down in your village,

That in this world is none so povre a page,

That he nould have abomination

Of that I have received in your town.

And yet ne grieveth me nothing so sore,

As that this old churl, with locks hoar,

Blasphemed hath our holy convent eke.”

  “Now, master, “ quoth this lord, “I you beseech.”

  “No master, sir,” quoth he, “but servitor,

Though I have had in school such honour.

God liketh not that ‘Rabbi’ men us call,

Neither in market ne in your large hall.”

  “No force,” quoth he, “but tell me all your grief.”

  “Sir,” quoth this friar, “an odious mischief

This day betid is to mine order and me,

And so per consequens to each degree,  

Of holy church, god amend it soon!”

  “Sir,” quoth the lord, “ye wot what is to do.

Distemper you not; ye be my confessor;

Ye be the salt of the earth and the savour.

For God’s love, your patience ye hold;

Tell me your grief:” and he anon him told,

As ye have heard beforn, ye wot well what.

  The lady of the house aye still sat,

Till she had heard what the friar said:

“Ey, god’s mother,” quoth she, “blissful maid!

Is there ought else? tell me faithfully.”

  “Madame, quoth he, “how thinketh you hereby?

  “How that me thinketh?” quoth she, “so god me speed,

say, a churl hath done a churl’s deed.

What should I say? god let him never thee!

His sick head is full of vanity;

I hold him in a manner frenzy.”

  “Madame,” quoth he, “by god, I shall not lie;

But I on other wise may be reck’,

I shall defame him over all there I speak,  

This false blasphemer, that charged me

To part that will not departed be,

To every man alike, with mischance!”

  The lord sat still as he were in a trance,

And in his heart he rolled up and down,

“How had this churl imagination

To show such a problem to the friar?

Never erst ere now heard I of such matter;

trow the devil put it in his mind.

In arithmetic shall there no man find,

Beforn this day, of such a question.

Who should make a demonstration,

That every man should have alike his part

As of the sound or savour of a fart?

O nice proud churl, I shrew his face!

Lo, sirs,” quoth the lord, with hard grace,

“Whoever heard of such a thing ere now?

To every man alike? tell me how?

It is an impossible; it may not be!

Ey, nice churl, god let him never thee!

The rumbling of a fart, and every soun’,

Nis but of air reverberation,

And ever it wasteth lite and lite away.  

There is no man can deemen, by my fay,

If that it were departed equally.  

What, lo, my churl, lo, yet how shrewedly

Unto my confessor today he spake!

I hold him certain a demoniac!

Now eat your meat, and let the churl go play,

Let him go hang himself, a devil way!”

  Now stood the lord’s squire at the board,

That carve his meat, and heard, word by word,

Of all things of which I have you said.

“My lord,” quoth he, “be ye not evil apaid

I could tell, for a gown cloth,

To you, sir friar, so ye be not wroth,

How that this fart should even dealed be

Amongst your convent, if it liked me.”

  “Tell,” quoth the lord, “and thou shalt have anon

A gown-cloth, by god and by Saint John!”

  “My lord,” quoth he, “when that the weather is fair,

Withouten wind or perturbing of air,

Let bring a cartwheel here into this hall;

But look that it have his spokes all.

Twelve spokes has a cartwheel commonly.

And bring me then twelve friars, wot ye why?

For thirteen is a convent, as I guess.

The confessor here, for his worthiness,

Shall perform up the number of his convent.

Then shall they kneel down, by one assent,

And to every spokes end, in this manner,

Full staidly lay his nose shall a friar.

Your noble confessor, there god him save, 

Shall hold his nose upright, under the nave.

Then shall this churl, with belly stiff and taught

As any tabor, hither been y-brought;

And set him on the wheel right of this cart,

Upon the nave, and make him let a fart.

And ye shall see, up peril of my life,

By proof which that is demonstrative,

That equally the sound of it will wend,

And eke the stink, unto the spokes end;

Save that this worthy man, your confessor,

By cause he is a man of great honour,

Shall have the first fruit, as reason is;

The noble usage of friars yet is this,

The worthy men of ’em shall first be served;

And certainly, he hath it well deserved.

He hath today taught us so much good

With preaching in the pulpit there he stood,

That I may vouchsafe, I say for me,

He had the first smell of farts three,

And so would all his convent hardily;

He beareth him so fair and holily.”

  The lord, the lady, and each man, save the friar,

Said that Jankin spake, in this matter,

As well as Euclid or [as] Ptolemy.

Touching this churl, they said, subtlety

And high wit made him speaken as he spake;

He nis no fool, ne no demoniac.

And Jankin hath y-won a new gown.—

My tale is done, we been almost at town.

Here endeth the Summoner’s Tale.