The Pardoner's Tale
Here biginneth the Pardoners Tale.
In Flaundres whylom was a companye
Of yonge folk, that haunteden folye,
As ryot, hasard, stewes, and tavernes,
Wher-as, with harpes, lutes, and giternes,
They daunce and pleye at dees bothe day and night,
And ete also and drinken over hir might,
Thurgh which they doon the devel sacrifyse
With-in that develes temple, in cursed wyse,
By superfluitee abhominable;
Hir othes been so grete and so dampnable,
That it is grisly for to here hem swere;
Our blissed lordes body they to-tere;
Hem thoughte Iewes rente him noght y-nough;
And ech of hem at otheres sinne lough.
And right anon than comen tombesteres
Fetys and smale, and yonge fruytesteres,
Singers with harpes, baudes, wafereres,
Whiche been the verray develes officeres
To kindle and blowe the fyr of lecherye,
That is annexed un-to glotonye;
The holy writ take I to my witnesse,
That luxurie is in wyn and dronkenesse.
Lo, how that dronken Loth, unkindely,
Lay by his doghtres two, unwitingly;
So dronke he was, he niste what he wroghte.
Herodes, (who-so wel the stories soghte),
Whan he of wyn was replet at his feste,
Right at his owene table he yaf his heste
To sleen the Baptist Iohn ful giltelees.
Senek seith eek a good word doutelees;
He seith, he can no difference finde
Bitwix a man that is out of his minde
And a man which that is dronkelewe,
But that woodnesse, y-fallen in a shrewe,
Persevereth lenger than doth dronkenesse.
O glotonye, ful of cursednesse,
O cause first of our confusioun,
O original of our dampnacioun,
Til Crist had boght us with his blood agayn!
Lo, how dere, shortly for to sayn,
Aboght was thilke cursed vileinye;
Corrupt was al this world for glotonye!
Adam our fader, and his wyf also,
Fro Paradys to labour and to wo
Were driven for that vyce, it is no drede;
For whyl that Adam fasted, as I rede,
He was in Paradys; and whan that he
Eet of the fruyt defended on the tree,
Anon he was out-cast to wo and peyne.
O glotonye, on thee wel oghte us pleyne!
O, wiste a man how many maladyes
Folwen of excesse and of glotonyes,
He wolde been the more mesurable
Of his diete, sittinge at his table.
Allas! the shorte throte, the tendre mouth,
Maketh that, Est and West, and North and South,
In erthe, in eir, in water men to-swinke
To gete a glotoun deyntee mete and drinke!
Of this matere, o Paul, wel canstow trete,
‘Mete un-to wombe, and wombe eek un-to mete,
Shal god destroyen bothe,’ as Paulus seith.
Allas! a foul thing is it, by my feith,
To seye this word, and fouler is the dede,
Whan man so drinketh of the whyte and rede,
That of his throte he maketh his privee,
Thurgh thilke cursed superfluitee.
The apostel weping seith ful pitously,
‘Ther walken many of whiche yow told have I,
I seye it now weping with pitous voys,
That they been enemys of Cristes croys,
Of whiche the ende is deeth, wombe is her god.’
O wombe! O bely! O stinking cod,
Fulfild of donge and of corrupcioun!
At either ende of thee foul is the soun.
How greet labour and cost is thee to finde!
Thise cokes, how they stampe, and streyne, and grinde,
And turnen substaunce in-to accident,
To fulfille al thy likerous talent!
Out of the harde bones knokke they
The mary, for they caste noght a-wey
That may go thurgh the golet softe and swote;
Of spicerye, of leef, and bark, and rote
Shal been his sauce y-maked by delyt,
To make him yet a newer appetyt.
But certes, he that haunteth swich delyces
Is deed, whyl that he liveth in tho vyces.
A lecherous thing is wyn, and dronkenesse
Is ful of stryving and of wrecchednesse.
O dronke man, disfigured is thy face,
Sour is thy breeth, foul artow to embrace,
And thurgh thy dronke nose semeth the soun
As though thou seydest ay ‘Sampsoun, Sampsoun’;
And yet, god wot, Sampsoun drank never no wyn.
Thou fallest, as it were a stiked swyn;
Thy tonge is lost, and al thyn honest cure;
For dronkenesse is verray sepulture
Of mannes wit and his discrecioun.
In whom that drinke hath dominacioun,
He can no conseil kepe, it is no drede.
Now kepe yow fro the whyte and fro the rede,
And namely fro the whyte wyn of Lepe,
That is to selle in Fish-strete or in Chepe.
This wyn of Spayne crepeth subtilly
In othere wynes, growing faste by,
Of which ther ryseth swich fumositee,
That whan a man hath dronken draughtes three,
And weneth that he be at hoom in Chepe,
He is in Spayne, right at the toune of Lepe,
Nat at the Rochel, ne at Burdeux toun;
And thanne wol he seye, ‘Sampsoun, Sampsoun.’
But herkneth, lordings, o word, I yow preye,
That alle the sovereyn actes, dar I seye,
Of victories in the olde testament,
Thurgh verray god, that is omnipotent,
Were doon in abstinence and in preyere;
Loketh the Bible, and ther ye may it lere.
Loke, Attila, the grete conquerour,
Deyde in his sleep, with shame and dishonour,
Bledinge ay at his nose in dronkenesse;
A capitayn shoulde live in sobrenesse.
And over al this, avyseth yow right wel
What was comaunded un-to Lamuel—
Nat Samuel, but Lamuel, seye I—
Redeth the Bible, and finde it expresly
Of wyn-yeving to hem that han Iustyse.
Na-more of this, for it may wel suffyse.
And now that I have spoke of glotonye,
Now wol I yow defenden hasardrye.
Hasard is verray moder of lesinges,
And of deceite, and cursed forsweringes,
Blaspheme of Crist, manslaughtre, and wast also
Of catel and of tyme; and forthermo,
It is repreve and contrarie of honour
For to ben holde a commune hasardour.
And ever the hyër he is of estaat,
The more is he holden desolaat.
If that a prince useth hasardrye,
In alle governaunce and policye
He is, as by commune opinioun,
Y-holde the lasse in reputacioun.
Stilbon, that was a wys embassadour,
Was sent to Corinthe, in ful greet honour,
Fro Lacidomie, to make hir alliaunce.
And whan he cam, him happede, par chaunce,
That alle the grettest that were of that lond,
Pleyinge atte hasard he hem fond.
For which, as sone as it mighte be,
He stal him hoom agayn to his contree,
And seyde, ‘ther wol I nat lese my name;
Ne I wol nat take on me so greet defame,
Yow for to allye un-to none hasardours.
Sendeth othere wyse embassadours;
For, by my trouthe, me were lever dye,
Than I yow sholde to hasardours allye.
For ye that been so glorious in honours
Shul nat allyen yow with hasardours
As by my wil, ne as by my tretee.’
This wyse philosophre thus seyde he.
Loke eek that, to the king Demetrius
The king of Parthes, as the book seith us,
Sente him a paire of dees of gold in scorn,
For he hadde used hasard ther-biforn;
For which he heeld his glorie or his renoun
At no value or reputacioun.
Lordes may finden other maner pley
Honeste y-nough to dryve the day awey.
Now wol I speke of othes false and grete
A word or two, as olde bokes trete.
Gret swering is a thing abhominable,
And false swering is yet more reprevable.
The heighe god forbad swering at al,
Witnesse on Mathew; but in special
Of swering seith the holy Ieremye,
‘Thou shalt seye sooth thyn othes, and nat lye,
And swere in dome, and eek in rightwisnesse;’
But ydel swering is a cursednesse.
Bihold and see, that in the firste table
Of heighe goddes hestes honurable,
How that the seconde heste of him is this—
‘Tak nat my name in ydel or amis.’
Lo, rather he forbedeth swich swering
Than homicyde or many a cursed thing;
I seye that, as by ordre, thus it stondeth;
This knowen, that his hestes understondeth,
How that the second heste of god is that.
And forther over, I wol thee telle al plat,
That vengeance shal nat parten from his hous,
That of his othes is to outrageous.
‘By goddes precious herte, and by his nayles,
And by the blode of Crist, that it is in Hayles,
Seven is my chaunce, and thyn is cink and treye;
By goddes armes, if thou falsly pleye,
This dagger shal thurgh-out thyn herte go’—
This fruyt cometh of the bicched bones two,
Forswering, ire, falsnesse, homicyde.
Now, for the love of Crist that for us dyde,
Leveth your othes, bothe grete and smale;
But, sirs, now wol I telle forth my tale.
Thise ryotoures three, of whiche I telle,
Longe erst er pryme rong of any belle,
Were set hem in a taverne for to drinke;
And as they satte, they herde a belle clinke
Biforn a cors, was caried to his grave;
That oon of hem gan callen to his knave,
‘Go bet,’ quod he, ‘and axe redily,
What cors is this that passeth heer forby;
And look that thou reporte his name wel.’
‘Sir,’ quod this boy, ‘it nedeth never-a-del.
It was me told, er ye cam heer, two houres;
He was, pardee, an old felawe of youres;
And sodeynly he was y-slayn to-night,
For-dronke, as he sat on his bench upright;
Ther cam a privee theef, men clepeth Deeth,
That in this contree al the peple sleeth,
And with his spere he smoot his herte a-two,
And wente his wey with-outen wordes mo.
He hath a thousand slayn this pestilence:
And, maister, er ye come in his presence,
Me thinketh that it were necessarie
For to be war of swich an adversarie:
Beth redy for to mete him evermore.
Thus taughte me my dame, I sey na-more.’
‘By seinte Marie,’ seyde this taverner,
‘The child seith sooth, for he hath slayn this yeer,
Henne over a myle, with-in a greet village,
Both man and womman, child and hyne, and page.
I trowe his habitacioun be there;
To been avysed greet wisdom it were,
Er that he dide a man a dishonour.’
‘Ye, goddes armes,’ quod this ryotour,
‘Is it swich peril with him for to mete?
I shal him seke by wey and eek by strete,
I make avow to goddes digne bones!
Herkneth, felawes, we three been al ones;
Lat ech of us holde up his hond til other,
And ech of us bicomen otheres brother,
And we wol sleen this false traytour Deeth;
He shal be slayn, which that so many sleeth,
By goddes dignitee, er it be night.’
Togidres han thise three her trouthes plight,
To live and dyen ech of hem for other,
As though he were his owene y-boren brother.
And up they sterte al dronken, in this rage,
And forth they goon towardes that village,
Of which the taverner had spoke biforn,
And many a grisly ooth than han they sworn,
And Cristes blessed body they to-rente—
‘Deeth shal be deed, if that they may him hente.’
Whan they han goon nat fully half a myle,
Right as they wolde han troden over a style,
An old man and a povre with hem mette.
This olde man ful mekely hem grette,
And seyde thus, ‘now, lordes, god yow see!’
The proudest of thise ryotoures three
Answerde agayn, ‘what? carl, with sory grace,
Why artow al forwrapped save thy face?
Why livestow so longe in so greet age?’
This olde man gan loke in his visage,
And seyde thus, ‘for I ne can nat finde
A man, though that I walked in-to Inde,
Neither in citee nor in no village,
That wolde chaunge his youthe for myn age;
And therfore moot I han myn age stille,
As longe time as it is goddes wille.
Ne deeth, allas! ne wol nat han my lyf;
Thus walke I, lyk a restelees caityf,
And on the ground, which is my modres gate,
I knokke with my staf, bothe erly and late,
And seye, “leve moder, leet me in!
Lo, how I vanish, flesh, and blood, and skin!
Allas! whan shul my bones been at reste?
Moder, with yow wolde I chaunge my cheste,
That in my chambre longe tyme hath be,
Ye! for an heyre clout to wrappe me!”
But yet to me she wol nat do that grace,
For which ful pale and welked is my face.
But, sirs, to yow it is no curteisye
To speken to an old man vileinye,
But he trespasse in worde, or elles in dede.
In holy writ ye may your-self wel rede,
“Agayns an old man, hoor upon his heed,
Ye sholde aryse;” wherfor I yeve yow reed,
Ne dooth un-to an old man noon harm now,
Na-more than ye wolde men dide to yow
In age, if that ye so longe abyde;
And god be with yow, wher ye go or ryde.
I moot go thider as I have to go.’
‘Nay, olde cherl, by god, thou shall nat so,’
Seyde this other hasardour anon;
‘Thou partest nat so lightly, by seint Iohn!
Thou spak right now of thilke traitour Deeth,
That in this contree alle our frendes sleeth.
Have heer my trouthe, as thou art his aspye,
Tel wher he is, or thou shalt it abye,
By god, and by the holy sacrament!
For soothly thou art oon of his assent,
To sleen us yonge folk, thou false theef!’
‘Now, sirs,’ quod he, ‘if that yow be so leef
To finde Deeth, turne up this croked wey,
For in that grove I lafte him, by my fey,
Under a tree, and ther he wol abyde;
Nat for your boost he wol him no-thing hyde.
See ye that ook? right ther ye shul him finde.
God save yow, that boghte agayn mankinde,
And yow amende!’—thus seyde this olde man.
And everich of thise ryotoures ran,
Til he cam to that tree, and ther they founde
Of florins fyne of golde y-coyned rounde
Wel ny an eighte busshels, as hem thoughte.
No lenger thanne after Deeth they soughte,
But ech of hem so glad was of that sighte,
For that the florins been so faire and brighte,
That doun they sette hem by this precious hord.
The worste of hem he spake the firste word.
‘Brethren,’ quod he, ‘tak kepe what I seye;
My wit is greet, though that I bourde and pleye.
This tresor hath fortune un-to us yiven,
In mirthe and Iolitee our lyf to liven,
And lightly as it comth, so wol we spende.
Ey! goddes precious dignitee! who wende
To-day, that we sholde han so fair a grace?
But mighte this gold be caried fro this place
Hoom to myn hous, or elles un-to youres—
For wel ye woot that al this gold is oures—
Than were we in heigh felicitee.
But trewely, by daye it may nat be;
Men wolde seyn that we were theves stronge,
And for our owene tresor doon us honge.
This tresor moste y-caried be by nighte
As wysly and as slyly as it mighte.
Wherfore I rede that cut among us alle
Be drawe, and lat se wher the cut wol falle;
And he that hath the cut with herte blythe
Shal renne to the toune, and that ful swythe,
And bringe us breed and wyn ful prively.
And two of us shul kepen subtilly
This tresor wel; and, if he wol nat tarie,
Whan it is night, we wol this tresor carie
By oon assent, wher-as us thinketh best.’
That oon of hem the cut broughte in his fest,
And bad hem drawe, and loke wher it wol falle;
And it fil on the yongeste of hem alle;
And forth toward the toun he wente anon.
And al-so sone as that he was gon,
That oon of hem spak thus un-to that other,
‘Thou knowest wel thou art my sworne brother,
Thy profit wol I telle thee anon.
Thou woost wel that our felawe is agon;
And heer is gold, and that ful greet plentee,
That shal departed been among us three.
But natheles, if I can shape it so
That it departed were among us two,
Hadde I nat doon a freendes torn to thee?’
That other answerde, ‘I noot how that may be;
He woot how that the gold is with us tweye,
What shal we doon, what shal we to him seye?’
‘Shal it be conseil?’ seyde the firste shrewe,
‘And I shal tellen thee, in wordes fewe,
What we shal doon, and bringe it wel aboute.’
‘I graunte,’ quod that other, ‘out of doute,
That, by my trouthe, I wol thee nat biwreye.’
‘Now,’ quod the firste, ‘thou woost wel we be tweye,
And two of us shul strenger be than oon.
Look whan that he is set, and right anoon
Arys, as though thou woldest with him pleye;
And I shal ryve him thurgh the sydes tweye
Whyl that thou strogelest with him as in game,
And with thy dagger look thou do the same;
And than shal al this gold departed be,
My dere freend, bitwixen me and thee;
Than may we bothe our lustes al fulfille,
And pleye at dees right at our owene wille.’
And thus acorded been thise shrewes tweye
To sleen the thridde, as ye han herd me seye.
This yongest, which that wente un-to the toun,
Ful ofte in herte he rolleth up and doun
The beautee of thise florins newe and brighte.
‘O lord!’ quod he, ‘if so were that I mighte
Have al this tresor to my-self allone,
Ther is no man that liveth under the trone
Of god, that sholde live so mery as I!’
And atte laste the feend, our enemy,
Putte in his thought that he shold poyson beye,
With which he mighte sleen his felawes tweye;
For-why the feend fond him in swich lyvinge,
That he had leve him to sorwe bringe,
For this was outrely his fulle entente
To sleen hem bothe, and never to repente.
And forth he gooth, no lenger wolde he tarie,
Into the toun, un-to a pothecarie,
And preyed him, that he him wolde selle
Som poyson, that he mighte his rattes quelle;
And eek ther was a polcat in his hawe,
That, as he seyde, his capouns hadde y-slawe,
And fayn he wolde wreke him, if he mighte,
On vermin, that destroyed him by nighte.
The pothecarie answerde, ‘and thou shalt have
A thing that, al-so god my soule save,
In al this world ther nis no creature,
That ete or dronke hath of this confiture
Noght but the mountance of a corn of whete,
That he ne shal his lyf anon forlete;
Ye, sterve he shal, and that in lasse whyle
Than thou wolt goon a paas nat but a myle;
This poyson is so strong and violent.’
This cursed man hath in his hond y-hent
This poyson in a box, and sith he ran
In-to the nexte strete, un-to a man,
And borwed [of] him large botels three;
And in the two his poyson poured he;
The thridde he kepte clene for his drinke.
For al the night he shoop him for to swinke
In caryinge of the gold out of that place.
And whan this ryotour, with sory grace,
Had filled with wyn his grete botels three,
To his felawes agayn repaireth he.
What nedeth it to sermone of it more?
For right as they had cast his deeth bifore,
Right so they han him slayn, and that anon.
And whan that this was doon, thus spak that oon,
‘Now lat us sitte and drinke, and make us merie,
And afterward we wol his body berie.’
And with that word it happed him, par cas,
To take the botel ther the poyson was,
And drank, and yaf his felawe drinke also,
For which anon they storven bothe two.
But, certes, I suppose that Avicen
Wroot never in no canon, ne in no fen,
Mo wonder signes of empoisoning
Than hadde thise wrecches two, er hir ending.
Thus ended been thise homicydes two,
And eek the false empoysoner also.
O cursed sinne, ful of cursednesse!
O traytours homicyde, o wikkednesse!
O glotonye, luxurie, and hasardrye!
Thou blasphemour of Crist with vileinye
And othes grete, of usage and of pryde!
Allas! mankinde, how may it bityde,
That to thy creatour which that thee wroghte,
And with his precious herte-blood thee boghte,
Thou art so fals and so unkinde, allas!
Now, goode men, god forgeve yow your trespas,
And ware yow fro the sinne of avaryce.
Myn holy pardoun may yow alle waryce,
So that ye offre nobles or sterlinges,
Or elles silver broches, spones, ringes.
Boweth your heed under this holy bulle!
Cometh up, ye wyves, offreth of your wolle!
Your name I entre heer in my rolle anon;
In-to the blisse of hevene shul ye gon;
I yow assoile, by myn heigh power,
Yow that wol offre, as clene and eek as cleer
As ye were born; and, lo, sirs, thus I preche.
And Iesu Crist, that is our soules leche,
So graunte yow his pardon to receyve;
For that is best; I wol yow nat deceyve.
But sirs, o word forgat I in my tale,
I have relikes and pardon in my male,
As faire as any man in Engelond,
Whiche were me yeven by the popes hond.
If any of yow wol, of devocioun,
Offren, and han myn absolucioun,
Cometh forth anon, and kneleth heer adoun,
And mekely receyveth my pardoun:
Or elles, taketh pardon as ye wende,
Al newe and fresh, at every tounes ende,
So that ye offren alwey newe and newe
Nobles and pens, which that be gode and trewe.
It is an honour to everich that is heer,
That ye mowe have a suffisant pardoneer
Tassoille yow, in contree as ye ryde,
For aventures which that may bityde.
Peraventure ther may falle oon or two
Doun of his hors, and breke his nekke atwo.
Look which a seuretee is it to yow alle
That I am in your felaweship y-falle,
That may assoille yow, bothe more and lasse,
Whan that the soule shal fro the body passe,
I rede that our hoste heer shal biginne,
For he is most envoluped in sinne.
Com forth, sir hoste, and offre first anon,
And thou shalt kisse the reliks everichon,
Ye, for a grote! unbokel anon thy purs.’
‘Nay, nay,’ quod he, ‘than have I Cristes curs!
Lat be,’ quod he, ‘it shal nat be, so theech!
Thou woldest make me kisse thyn old breech,
And swere it were a relik of a seint,
Thogh it were with thy fundement depeint!
But by the croys which that seint Eleyne fond,
I wolde I hadde thy coillons in myn hond
In stede of relikes or of seintuarie;
Lat cutte hem of, I wol thee helpe hem carie;
They shul be shryned in an hogges tord.’
This pardoner answerde nat a word;
So wrooth he was, no word ne wolde he seye.
‘Now,’ quod our host, ‘I wol no lenger pleye
With thee, ne with noon other angry man.’
But right anon the worthy knight bigan,
Whan that he saugh that al the peple lough,
‘Na-more of this, for it is right y-nough;
Sir pardoner, be glad and mery of chere;
And ye, sir host, that been to me so dere,
I prey yow that ye kisse the pardoner.
And pardoner, I prey thee, drawe thee neer,
And, as we diden, lat us laughe and pleye.’
Anon they kiste, and riden forth hir weye.
Here is ended the Pardoners Tale.
Here beginneth the Pardoner’s Tale.
In Flanders whilom was a company
Of young folk, that haunteden folly,
As riot, hazard, stives, and taverns,
Where as, with harps, lutes, and citterns,
They dance and playen at dice both day and night,
And eaten also and drinken over their might,
Through which they do the devil sacrifice
Within that devil’s temple, in cursed wise,
By superfluity abominable;
Their oaths been so great and so damnable,
That it is grisly for to hear ’em swear;
Our blessed lord’s body they to-tear;
’Em thought that Jews rent him not enough;
And each of ’em at other’s sin laugh.
And right anon then comen tumbesters
Featous and small, and young fruitsters,
Singers with harps, bards, waferers,
Which been the very devil’s officers
To kindle and blow the fire of lechery,
That is annexed unto gluttony;
The holy writ take I to my witness,
That luxury is in wine and drunkenness.
Lo, how that drunken Lot, unkindly,
Lay by his daughters two, unwittingly;
So drunk he was, he nist what he wrought.
Herod, (whoso well the stories sought),
When he of wine was replete at his feast,
Right at his own table he have his hest
To slayen the Baptist John full guiltless.
Seneca saith eke a good word doubtless;
He saith he can no difference find
Betwix a man that is out of his mind
And a man which that is drunkelew,
But that woodness, y-fallen in a shrew,
Persevereth longer than doth drunkenness.
O gluttony, full of cursedness,
O cause first of our confusion,
O original of our damnation,
Till Christ had bought us with his blood again!
Lo, how dear, shortly for to sayn,
A-bought was thilk cursed villainy;
Corrupt was all this world for gluttony!
Adam our father, and his wife also,
From Paradise to labour and to woe
Were driven for that vice, it is no dread.
For while that Adam fasted, as I read,
He was in Paradise; and when that he
Eat of the fruit defended on the tree,
Anon he was outcast to woe and pain.
O gluttony, on thee well ought us ’plain!
O, wist a man how many maladies
Followen of excess and of gluttonies,
He would be the more measurable
Of his diet, sitting at his table.
Alas! the short throat, the tender mouth,
Maketh that, East and West, and North and South,
In earth, in air, in water men to swink
To get a glutton dainty meat and drink!
Of this matter, o Paul, well canst thou treat,
“Meat unto womb, and womb eke unto meat,
Shall god destroyen both,” as Paulus saith.
Alas! a foul thing it is, by my faith,
To say this word, and fouler is the deed,
When man so drinketh of the white and red,
That of his throat he maketh his privy,
Through thilk cursed superfluity.
The apostle weeping saith full piteously,
“There walken many of which you told have I,
I say it now weeping with piteous voice,
That they been enemies of Christ’s cross,
Of which the end is death, womb is their god.”
O womb! O belly! O stinking cod,
Full-filled of dung and of corruption!
At either end of thee foul is the sound.
How great labour and cost is thee to find!
These cooks, how they stamp, and strain, and grind,
And turnen substance into accident,
To full-fill all thy lickerous talent!
Out of the hard bones knock they
The marrow, for they cast nought away
That may go through the gullet soft and sweet;
Of spicery, of leaf, and bark, and root
Shall be his sauce y-maked by delight,
To make him yet a newer appetite.
But certs, he that haunteth such delices
Is dead, while that he liveth in those vices.
A lecherous thing is wine, and drunkenness
Is full of striving and of wretchedness.
O drunk man, disfigured is thy face,
Sour is thy breath, foul art thou to embrace,
And through thy drunk nose seemeth the sound
As though thou saidest aye “Samson, Samson”;
And yet, god wot, Samson drunk never no wine.
Thou fallest, as it were a sticked swine;
The tongue is lost, and all thine honest cure;
For drunkenness is very sepulture
Of man’s wit and his discretion.
In whom that drink hath domination,
He can no counsel keep, it is no dread.
Now keep you from the white and from the red,
And namely from the white wine of Lepe,
That is to sell in Fish Street or in Cheap.
This wine of Spain creepeth subtly
In other wines, growing fast by,
Of which there riseth such fumosity,
That when a man hath drunken draughts three,
And weeneth he be at home in Cheap,
He is in Spain, right at the town of Lepe,
Not at La Rochelle, ne at Bordeaux town;
And then will he say, “Samson, Samson!”
But harkneth, lordings, one word, I you pray,
That all the sovereign acts, dare I say,
Of victories in the old testament,
Through very god, that is omnipotent,
Were done in abstinence and in prayer;
Looketh the Bible, and there you may it lere.
Look, Attila, the great conqueror,
Died in his sleep, with shame and dishonour,
Bleeding aye at his nose in drunkenness;
A captain should live in soberness.
And over all this, adviseth you right well
What was commanded unto Lemuel—
Not Samuel, but Lemuel, say I—
Readeth the Bible, and find it expressly
Of wine-giving to ’em that have justice.
No more of this, for it may well suffice.
And now that I have spoke of gluttony,
Now will I you defenden hazardry.
Hazard is very mother of leasings,
And of deceit, and cursed forswearings,
Blaspheme of Christ, manslaughter, and wast also
Of chattel and of time; and furthermo’,
It is reprieve and contrary of honour
For to be held a common hazarder.
And ever the higher he is of estate,
The more is he y-holden desolate.
If that a prince useth hazardry,
In all governance and policy
He is, as by common opinion,
Y-held the less in reputation.
Stilbo, that was a wise ambassador,
Was sent to Corinth, in full great honour,
From Lacidomy, to make their alliance.
And when he came, him happed, perchance,
That all the greatest that were of that land,
Playing at hazard he ’em found.
For which, as soon as it might be,
He stole him home again to his country,
And said, “there will I not lose my name;
Ne I will not take on me so great defame,
You for to ally unto none hazarders.
Sendeth other wise ambassadors;
For, by my troth, me were rather die,
Than I you should to hazarders ally.
For ye that been so glorious in honours
Shall not allyen you with hazarders
As by my will, ne as by my treaty.”
This wise philosopher thus said he.
Look eke that, to the king Demetrius
The king of Parthes, as the book saith us,
Sent him a pair of dice of gold in scorn,
For he had used hazard there-beforn;
For which he held his glory or his renown
At no value or reputation.
Lords may finden other manner play
Honest enough to drive the day away.
Now will I speak of oaths false and great
A word or two, as old books treat.
Great swearing is a thing abominable,
And false swearing is yet more reprievable.
The high god forbade swearing at all,
Witness on Matthew, but in special
Of swearing saith the holy Jeremiah,
“Thou shalt say sooth thine oaths, and not lie,
And swear in doom, and eke in righteousness;”
But idle swearing is a cursedness.
Behold and see, that in the first table
Of high god’s hests honourable,
How that the second hest of him is this—
“Take not my name in idle or amiss.”
Lo, rather he forbadeth such swearing
Than homicide or many a cursed thing;
I say that, as by order, thus it standeth;
This knowen, that his hests understandeth,
How that the second hest of god is that.
And further over, I will thee tell all flat,
That vengeance shall not parten from his house,
That of his oaths is too outrageous.
“By god’s precious heart, and by his nails,
And by the blood of Christ, that is in Hailes,
Seven is my chance, and thine is cinq and trey;
By god’s arms, if thou falsely play,
This dagger shall throughout thine heart go!”
This fruit cometh out of the bitched bones two,
Forswearing, ire, falseness, homicide.
Now, for the love of Christ that for us died,
Leaveth your oaths, both great and small;
But, sirs, now will I tell forth my tale.
These rioters three, of which I tell,
Long erst ere prime rung of any bell,
Were set ’em in a tavern for to drink;
And as they sat, they heard a bell clink
Beforn a corpse, was carried to his grave;
That one of ’em ’gan callen to his knave,
“Go bet,” quoth he, “and ask readily
What corpse is this that passeth here forby;
And look that thou report his name well.”
“Sir,” quoth this boy, “it needeth never-a-deal.
It was me told, ere ye came here, two hours;
He was, pardee, an old fellow of yours;
And suddenly he was y-slain tonight,
For drunk, as he sat on his bench upright;
There came a privy thief, men clepeth Death,
That in this country all the people slayeth,
And with his spear he smote his heart a-two,
And wenten his way withouten words mo’.
He hath a thousand slain this pestilence:
And, master, ere ye come in his presence,
Methinketh that it were necessary
For to be ware of such an adversary:
Beeth ready for to meet him evermore.
Thus taught me my dame, I say no more.”
“By saint Mary!” said this taverner,
“The child saith sooth, for he hath slain this year,
Hence over a mile, within a great village,
Both man and woman, child and hind, and page.
I trow his habitation be there;
To been advised great wisdom it were,
Ere that he did a man a dishonour.”
“Yea, god’s arms!” quoth this rioter,
“Is it such peril with him for to meet?
I shall him seek by way and eke by street,
I make avow to god’s digne bones!
Harkneth, fellows, we three been all ones;
Let each of us hold up his hand to other,
And each of us becomen other’s brother,
And we will slay this false traitor Death;
He shall be slain, he that so many slayeth,
By god’s dignity, ere it be night!”
Together have these three their troths plight,
To live and dien each of ’em for other,
As though he was his own y-born brother.
And up they start all drunken, in this rage,
And forth they go towards that village,
Of which the taverner had spoke beforn.
And many a grisly oath then have they sworn,
And Christ’s blessed body they to-rent—
“Death shall be dead, if that they may him hent.”
When they have gone not fully half a mile,
Right as they would have trodden over a stile,
An old man and a povre with ’em met.
This old man full meekly ’em gret,
And said thus, “now, lords, god you see!”
The proudest of these rioters three
Answered again, “what? carl, with sorry grace,
Why art thou all forwrapped save thy face?
Why livest thou so long in so great age?”
This old man ’gan look in his visage,
And said thus, “for I ne can not find
A man, though that I walked in Inde,
Neither in city ne in no village,
That would change his youth for mine age;
And therefore must I have mine age still,
As long time as it is god’s will.
Ne death, alas! ne will not have my life;
Thus walk I, like a restless caitiff,
And on the ground, which is my mother’s gate,
I knock with my staff, both early and late,
And say, ‘lief mother, let me in!
Lo, how I vanish, flesh, and blood, and skin!
Alas! when shall my bones been at rest?
Mother, with you would I change my chest,
That in my chamber long time hath be,
Yea! for an hair cloth to wrap me!’
But yet to me she will not do that grace,
For which full pale and welked is my face.
But, sirs, to you it is no courtesy
To speaken to an old man villainy,
But he trespass in word, or else in deed.
In holy writ ye may yourself well read,
‘Against an old man, hoar upon his head,
Ye should arise;’ wherefore I give you rede,
Ne doeth unto an old man no harm now,
No more than that ye would men did to you
In age, if that ye so long abide;
And god be with you, whe’er ye go or ride.
I must go thither as I have to go.”
“Nay, old churl, by god, thou shalt not so,”
Said this other hazarder anon;
“Thou partest not so lightly, by saint John!
Thou spake right now of thilk traitor Death,
That in this country all our friends slayeth.
Have here my troth, as thou art his espy,
Tell where he is, or thou shalt it a-buy,
By god, and by the holy sacrament!
For soothly thou art one of his assent,
To slayen us young folk, thou false thief!”
“Now, sirs,” quoth he, “if that you be so lief
To find Death, turn up this crooked way,
For in that grove I left him, by my fay,
Under a tree, and there he will abide;
Not for your boast he will him nothing hide.
See ye that oak? right there ye shall him find.
God save you, that bought again mankind,
And you amend!”—thus said this old man.
And everich of these rioters ran,
Till he came to that tree, and there they found
Of florins fine of gold y-coined round
Well nigh an eight bushels, as ’em thought.
No longer then after Death they sought,
But each of ’em so glad was of that sight,
For that the florins been so fair and bright,
That down they set ’em by this precious hoard.
The worst of ’em, he spake the first word.
“Brethren,” quoth he, “take keep what I say;
My wit is great, though that I bawd and play.
This treasure hath fortune unto us given,
In mirth and jollity our life to liven,
And lightly as it cometh, so will we spend.
Ey, god’s precious dignity! who wend
Today that we should have so fair a grace?
But might this gold be carried from this place
Home to mine house, or else unto yours—
For well ye wot that all this gold is ours—
Then were we in high felicity.
But truly, by day it may not be;
Men would sayn that we were thieves strong,
And for our own treasure do us hang.
This treasure must y-carried be by night
As wisely and as slyly as it might.
Wherefore I rede that cut among us all
Be draw, and let see where the cut will fall;
And he that hath the cut with heart blithe
Shall run to the town, and that full swith,
And bring us bread and wine full privily.
And two of us shall keepen subtly
This treasure well; and if he will not tarry,
When it is night, we will this treasure carry
By one assent, where as us thinketh best.”
That one of ’em the cut brought in his fist,
And bade ’em draw, and look where it will fall;
And it fell on the youngest of ’em all;
And forth toward the town he went anon.
And all so soon as that he was gone,
That one of ’em spake thus unto that other,
“Thou knowest well thou art my sworn brother,
Thy profit will I tell thee anon.
Thou wist well that our fellow is a-gone;
And here is gold, and that full great plenty,
That shall departed been among us three.
But natheless, if I can shape it so
That it departed were among us two,
Had I not done a friend’s turn to thee?”
That other answered, “I not how that may be;
He wot that the gold is with us tway;
What shall we do, what shall we to him say?”
“Shall it be counsel?” said the first shrew,
“And I shall tellen thee, in words few,
What we shall do, and bring it well about.”
“I grant,” quoth that other, “out of doubt,
That, by my troth, I will thee not betray.”
“Now,” quoth the first, “thou wist well we be tway,
And two of us shall stronger be than one.
Look when that he is sat, and right anon
Arise, as though thou wouldst with him play;
And I shall rive him through the sides tway
While that thou strugglest with him as in game,
And with thy dagger look thou do the same;
And then shall all this gold departed be,
My dear friend, betwixen me and thee;
Then may we both our lusts all fulfil,
And play at dice right at our own will.”
And thus accorded been these shrews tway
To slayen the third, as ye have heard me say.
This youngest, which that went unto the town,
Full oft in heart he rolleth up and down,
The beauty of these florins new and bright.
“O lord!” quoth he, “if so were that I might
Have all this treasure to myself alone,
There is no man that liveth under the throne
Of god, that should live so merry as I!”
And at last the fiend, our enemy,
Put in his thought that he should poison buy,
With which he might slayen his fellows tway;
For-why the fiend found him in such living
That he had leave him to sorrow bring,
For this was outrightly his full intent,
To slayen ’em both, and never to repent.
And forth he goeth, no longer would he tarry,
Into the town, unto a ’pothecary,
And prayed him that he him would sell
Some poison, that he might his rats kill;
And eke there was a polecat in his haw,
That, as he said, his capons had y-slew,
And fain he would reck’ him, if he might,
On vermin, that destroyed him by night.
The ’pothecary answered, “and thou shalt have
A thing that, all so god my soul save,
In all this world there nis no creature,
That eaten or drinken hath of this confiture
Nought but the ’mountance of a corn of wheat,
That he ne shall have his life anon forlet;
Yea, starve he shall, and that in less while
Than thou wilt go a pace not but a mile,
This poison is so strong and violent.”
This cursed man hath in his hand y-hent
This poison in a box, and sith he ran
Into the next street, unto a man,
And borrowed [of] him large bottles three;
And in the two his poison poured he;
The third he kept clean for his drink.
For all the night he shape him for to swink
In carrying of the gold out of that place.
And when this rioter, with sorry grace,
Had filled with wine his great bottles three,
To his fellows again repaireth he.
What needeth it to sermon of it more?
For right as they had cast his death before,
Right so they have him slain, and that anon.
And when that this was done, thus spake that one:
“Now let us sit and drink, and make us merry,
And afterward we will his body bury.”
And with that word it happed him, par case,
To take the bottle there the poison was,
And drank, and gave his fellow drink also,
For which anon they starven both two.
But, certs, I suppose that Avicen
Wrought never in no canon, ne in no fen,
More wonder signs of empoisoning
Than had these wretches two, ere their ending.
Thus ended been these homicides two,
And eke the false empoisoner also.
O cursed sin, full of cursedness!
O traitor’s homicide, o wickedness!
O gluttony, luxury, and hazardry!
Thou blasphemer of Christ with villainy
And other great, of usage and of pride!
Alas! mankind, how may it betide,
That to thy creator which that thee wrought,
And with his precious heart-blood thee bought,
Thou art so false and so unkind, alas!
Now, good men, god forgive you your trespass,
And ware you from the sin of avarice.
Mine holy pardon may you all warish,
So that ye offer nobles or sterlings,
Or else silver brooches, spoons, rings.
Boweth your head under this holy bull!
Cometh up, ye wives, offereth of your wool!
Your name I enter here in my roll anon;
Into the bliss of heaven shall ye gon;
I you absolve, by mine high power,
You that will offer, as clean and eke as clear
As ye were born; and, lo, sirs, thus I preach.
And Jesus Christ, that is our soul’s leech,
So grant you his pardon to receive;
For that is best; I will you not deceive.
But sirs, one word forgot I in my tale,
I have relics and pardon in my mail,
As fair as any man in England,
Which were me given by the pope’s hand.
If any of you will, of devotion,
Offeren, and have mine absolution,
Come forth anon, and kneeleth here a-down,
And meekly receiveth my pardon:
Or else taketh pardon as ye wend,
All new and fresh, at every town’s end,
So that ye offeren alway new and new,
Nobles or pence, which that be good and true.
It is an honour to everich that is here,
That ye may have a sufficient pardoner
T’absoil you, in country as ye ride,
For adventures which that may betide.
Peradventure there may fall one or two
Down off his horse, and break his neck a-two.
Look which a surety is it to you all
That I am in your fellowship y-fall,
That may absoil you, both more and less,
When that the soul shall from the body pass,
I rede that our host here shall begin,
For he is most enveloped in sin.
Come forth, sir host, and offer first anon,
And thou shalt kiss the relics everich one,
Yea, for a groat! unbuckle anon thy purse.”
“Nay, nay!” quoth he, “then have I Christ’s curse!
Let be,” quoth he, “it shall not be, so theech!
Thou wouldest make me kiss thine old breech,
And swear it were a relic of a saint,
Though it were with thy fundament depaint!
But, by the cross which that saint Helen found,
I would I had thy cullions in mine hand
Instead of relics or of sanctuary;
Let cut ’em off, I will thee help ’em carry;
They shall be shrined in an hog’s turd.”
This Pardoner answered not a word;
So wroth he was, no word ne would he say.
“Now,” quoth our host, “I will no longer play
With thee, ne with none other angry man.”
But right anon the worthy knight began,
When that he saw that all the people laugh,
“No more of this, for it is right enough;
Sir pardoner, be glad and merry of cheer;
And ye, sir host, that be to me so dear,
I pray you that ye kiss the pardoner.
And pardoner, I pray thee, draw thee near,
And, as we diden, let us laugh and play.”
Here is ended the Pardoner’s Tale.
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